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i was all horns and thorns...
... sprung out fully formed, knock-kneed and upright
unfinished fic dump 6 
twilight. alice/edward/bella. '... and then they all made out' seems to be the moral to a lot of these unfinished fics



“Bella, honey, can you wake up for me?”


“Why don’t you just pinch her, Edward?”

“Restrain yourself, Alice. Bella wake up.”

“But then the peacocks will get me.”

“Peacocks? What have you two been up to, Edward?”

“Alice, if you have nothing helpful to add then please just don’t say anything at all.”


“Yep! That’s me.”

“Aaah, why are you so loud at…” Bella’s head swivels toward the alarm clock. “…two-thirty in the morning?”

“One of the many perks of being a vampire is never having to sleep. Also, immortality. Both quite helpful when annoying your future sister-in-law.”

Bella blinks into the all-consuming darkness, willing her eyes to adjust so she can find Alice’s face and smack her. She settles for pointing a finger in the general direction her voice is emanating from. She thinks.

“You woke me up,” she states accusingly, her head never leaving the pillow.

“It was important!”

“You woke me up. And judging from the chipperness in your tone, doom is not in our immediate futures. So that means you woke me up for no reason.”

“Man, you’re grouchy when you’re sleepy. Edward never told me, but you are such a sourpuss.”

“That’s because I know better than to wake her up from her beauty sleep. Not that she-“

“Needs any beauty sleep because she’s beautiful no matter what, blah blah blah. No offence, Edward, but sometimes you read like a romance novel character. Except without all the se-“

“Was there some reason that I’m awake? Or is this how you get your jollies now? Is Emmett waiting in the corner getting ready to yell boo?”

“No, though don’t give him any ideas.”

“True. Once was enough.”

“But the look on your face was just. So. Funny.”

A growl.

“I don’t think Edward appreciates my magnificent tumble down the stairs afterwards, though.”

“Oh please. It was two. Two steps. And you fell onto a cushion, which I, thankfully, had the foresight to lay down for you.”

“If you had a vision of her falling, why didn’t you stop Emmett?”

“The face, Edward. Don’t you remember?”

“I think he was too busy having a coronary.”

Vampires can’t have coronaries, Bella. No, what he had was called a snit-fit. Don’t make excuses for him.”

“It was justified!”

“Oh, hush.”

“Um, guys? Not that I’m not enjoying listening to you guys bickering but is there a reason you woke me up out of a sound sleep?”

“Oh. Right.” With that she hears a click, and her bedside is flooded with light from the lamp, blinding her in the process.


“Whoops! Forgot about that while human pupil dilate-y thing, sorry. But we’re taking you to see an aurora borealis! Isn’t it exciting!”

“It was supposed to be a surprise, Alice.”

“Don’t talk to me about surprises. I haven’t had one of those in a century.”


Bella sat up on her elbows, feeling her sleep-addled muscles protest against movement. And consciousness.

“A what? Why is the light on? And why are you- oh no,” she groaned as Alice went foraging under her bed and produced Bella’s tennis shoes. She turned toward Bella’s drawers and pulled out a hoodie and jeans. “You mean we’re going outside? It’s freezing!”

Alice looked at her strangely. “Well we have to be outside to see it, obviously. And it’s March; what did you expect?”

Bella harrumphed as she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

“I expected to be allowed eight hours of sleep without a harebrained vampire deciding the night sky was more important. Next you’ll tell me I have to sleep on the ground.”

Alice smiled guiltily. “I brought us a blanket at least.”

She held the fabric up for Bella inspection, and she glared. Unsatisfactory.

Alice grinned as if she was the mind-reader in the family and had Bella’s number. “There’s a heated one in the car. We can use the car battery to keep it going.”


They made a halting procession out to the car still idling in the driveway, Bella still cocooned in her comforter, Edward pecking about like a mother hen trying to make sure Bella didn’t trip over her wrappings, and Alice skipping backwards just in front letting her excitement out in manic bursts of clapping. It was a wonder Charlie didn’t wake to find his daughter being whisked away (kidnapped, Bella growled) into the night.

The sky back home with her mother had been choked with Phoenix smog, a dense night pricked by a small handful of stars. But Forks’ sky was glittering with a pantheon of delicate light, a vision of wonder nearly as tactile as an arsenal of freckles on pale skin.

Bella and Alice both laid their heads on Edward’s lanky, lean torso, their faces side by side but their bodies facing opposite directions. Bella glanced over to find herself nose to nose with the other girl, quite literally – Alice’s little button nose was mushing slightly against her own, and she could feel her empty breaths against her lips. Her eyes crossed trying to inspect the point where they touched. Bella’s eyes flickered up from where they’d unwittingly wandered, to find Alice staring at her intensely with eyes as unreadable as cool black marble. Edward’s hand that had been absentmindedly stroking Bella’s hair paused, and his other that had been clutched in Alice’s fingers that rested on her stomach clenched minutely.  

“Do you think there are aliens out there somewhere?”

“Um, I really don’t want to think about little green men witnessing what we just did.”

“ET must be scandalized.”

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